HS2 now set to run from one end of Coventry High Street to the other

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Rishi Sunak will today reveal that the new route for HS2 will be from one end of Coventry High Street, by the big Mexican restaurant, to the other end, just down past the Wetherspoons.

“HS2 will be the fastest way to get from one end of the High Street in Coventry to the other,” said a Number 10 source.

“It will also ease congestion along the High Street and free it up for more efficient local transport links between Barclays and the Spar.”

Number 10 denied that it will come as a disappointment to many that HS2 has been reduced in scope from a high-speed rail network that connects the country’s three great cities to a super-efficient local tram service.

Our source continued, “This is a good news story. This is a world-beating infrastructure project. There is no other town in Europe, or indeed, the world, that can boast a high-speed train service from one end of the High Street to the other.

“Also, there were some around the table who wanted to have HS2 just run through the underpass on Little Park Street to make it a hyper-efficient way to cross the road. It was only Rishi Sunak’s vision and ambition that secured this new plan for HS2 to run the length of Coventry High Street.”

The new HS2 route is expected to cost £900bn, require the demolition of twenty thousand houses and is estimated to be completed within three hundred years.