Crane flies have finally moved above Jehovah’s Witnesses in a list of annoying things to visit you at home.
After a couple of weeks of prolonged activity, homeowners across the UK have admitted that a large fly with all the aerial grace of Ryanair pilot is more annoying than having devout Christians repeatedly knocking at your front door.
Homeowner Simon Williams told us, “A visit from the Jehovah’s Witnesses is always a pain in the arse, as their earnest belief in what they’re doing seems to make them completely immune from pointing out how antisocial their call is.
“But at least there was some fun to be had with them going over all that mental stuff about blood transfusions being a bad thing and where all the black people actually came from.
“You know, maybe if Jehovah’s witnesses came in and started bouncing off the walls and heading for the all the lamps they’d be a little bit more entertaining, and therefore more welcome?
“But unfortunately the crane fly has no redeemable features whatsoever. You can’t even take the piss out of them and their bonkers belief system.
“Unlike normal flies, you can’t simply ignore them, because all women think of them as basically being ‘flying spiders’, so when the numbers grow like they have over the last few weeks, up I’m forever up and down like a bloody yoyo repeatedly throwing them outside.
“But on the plus side, at least they don’t insist on leaving us leaflets about their preferred fairy stories.”