Experts discover the drop in visitors to Britain caused by ‘Britain being in Britain and full of British people’

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Experts believe they now understand the reason for the drop in visitors from abroad to Britain over recent years.

“From what we can tell, it’s almost entirely down to Britain and the British people,” explained travel writer Simon Williams.

“People seem to be considering where to go on holiday, looking at Britain, discovering that it’s like it is and that it’s full of British people and deciding instead to go somewhere much nicer – like Spain, or the Caribbean.”

Mr Williams went on to explain what Britain could do to mitigate the problem.

“Well, firstly we need to stop putting pictures of Britain on the internet. Maybe fix it so that if someone searches for somewhere in Britain, they end up seeing a picture of Prague or the Serengeti or something.

“Then, really, the best thing we can do is really ramp up immigration so that British people aren’t quite so prevalent here. If not, then perhaps British people start speaking in a French accent so they don’t seem quite so British?”

There have been suggestions that to mitigate the drop in visitors from abroad, Britain could encourage British people to visit places in Britain rather than going abroad.

“Well, that seems very unlikely,” continued Mr Williams.

“If anyone knows what Britain and the British people are really like, it’s British people, so they’re the last people who are going to want to visit Britain.”