A woman who is outraged when shops put up Christmas decorations in November has already got a skeleton and large supply of pumpkins ready to go, it has emerged.
Kim Williams, who hates the commercialisation of Christmas and thinks everyone needs to calm down about it, has already put up the special curtains covered in bats and told Alexa to basically loop Bloody Kisses and Love like Blood until January.
Family members report rolls of fake cobweb started appearing in the house as early as June and the first bouncy rubber spider was found hanging from the bathroom light in August.
“I hate how Christmas has become so commercial,” Kim said, pushing aside boxes of terrifying decorations, stripey tights and witches’ hats just to get to the door.
“It’s all fake snow, jolly Santas and reindeer from, like, the start of November. Why do they have to start so early?”, she added whilst plugging in the dry ice machine and turning it on.
“Have you seen those idiots who stick lights all over their homes? It just looks so cheap.
“Yes, the number of light-up ghouls and warning signs I put up last year did cause structural damage to my house; why do you ask?”
When asked if she planned to start dressing up for Halloween, Kim looked surprised and told us that she does that every day anyway.