Suella Braverman tells US audience, ‘Turning away refugees doesn’t violate their human rights if we reclassify them as sub-human’

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The Home Secretary has told a US audience that deporting asylum seekers doesn’t violate their human rights if you reclassify all migrants as sub-human.

Braverman spoke out since the European Court of Human Rights continues to insist that asylum seekers are human beings and deserving of basic human rights, in direct opposition to his government’s official position.

Suella Braverman told a gathered crowd of right-wing sycophants keen to hear new ways of demonising minorities, “The disastrous ECHR won’t be able to do anything to stop us, even though they keep on saying that asylum seekers are humans too, because we know different, don’t we?

“Let’s be honest, the concept of human rights has been nothing but a pain in our collective backsides ever since I became Home Secretary, but not any longer.

“Apparently, you can’t go around putting humans seeking refuge in prison barges, or putting them on a plane to Rwanda, even when they claim to be asylum seekers – I mean, everyone knows asylum seekers are animals, not human; so what’s the big deal?”

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Braverman went on to try and calm those who have been left angry at the news, insisting this is not the end of human rights in the United Kingdom.

She explained, “Look, you can rest easy because we’re going to make our own Human Rights Council, and it will be the best Human Rights Council in the world, where only the best people will be classified as human.

“Anyone will be able to submit an application, but we will be very choosy about who we let be classified as human – we have to be. None of these migrant sorts, or anyone else we don’t like. None of those, obviously.”

Meanwhile, many Tory supporters have taken to looking at themselves in the mirror this morning and asking themselves the question, “What… what if we’re the baddies?”

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