ASDA to launch ‘Heartless Corporate Prick’ Halloween costume

author avatar by 10 months ago

Supermarket chain ASDA has added a new line to its Halloween costume range with the ‘Heartless Corporate Prick’ for children who will sell anything to make a few quid.

Though criticised for the costume, Asda executives said Halloween costumes can’t be offensive because they’re for children, and anyone offended needs to ‘grow up’.

As an Asda spokesperson explained, “The costume comes with an air of superiority where you don’t care what other people think, right up until it hits you in the pocket.

“We’ve worked really hard to take what it means to be a heartless corporate prick, and find a way to wrap it around a five-year-old child.

“We’re very proud of what we’ve achieved. It has truly been a team effort.

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“Of course, for parents who really love their children they can upgrade to the deluxe Investment Banker option for an extra tenner.  It comes with a pin-striped suit.

“We just hope it will make up for the lost sales since the do-gooders stopped us selling our favourite golliwog outfit.”