“WAKE UP” concludes nonsense-spewing gonk

author avatar by 10 months ago

A man who has written four paragraphs of reality-free bullshit has concluded his short essay with the straightforwardly funny conclusion of “WAKE UP”.

Simon Williams, 33, commented on a story regarding recent allegations about Russell Brand with a diatribe including phrases such as “the mainstream just want to silence a truth-teller”, “this is how the holocaust started”, and “if you put up with this then your kids will be next”.

“WAKE UP!” concluded Williams, hitting submit and sitting back for a victory sip on a can of Monster Energy.

“Everything I’ve just said is true. I’ve seen it on YouTube after performing a search for videos that only confirm my existing biases. That’s how research works.

“The rest of you sheep need to get a f**king grip. The mainstream media is out to put you in prison. That’s how making money definitely works: by putting your customer base in prison.

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“You look confused. Of COURSE you do. F**king sheep. Bet you think this ISN’T the start of Holocaust 2 either.

“You know what? Get out of my basement. I don’t need your bootlicker energy messing with my vibe.”

Simon’s mother commented, “Technically it’s MY basement.

“I’m not sure what he means by ‘vibe’, unless he means the smell, which yes, I would very much like to mess with.”