A man has entered his 17th full minute stuck on a pasta aisle in his local supermarket today, in an attempt to avoid idle chit-chat with an acquaintance he ‘kind of knows’.
Simon Williams, who doesn’t even need to buy pasta, revealed his predicament earlier whilst holding a bag of fusilli whilst pretending to look for some pesto.
Speaking earlier he told us, “I’ve been stuck here for ages. I don’t think I’m ever going to get out.
“I spotted a guy who I used to work with earlier, who I only kind of know, so I thought I’d avoid him like any normal person, so I don’t have to stop and talk.
“But he’s just taking ages to get round the shop, and I don’t want to risk going past him because I’ll end us having to stop and make chit chat if he sees me and talk about people we both know, because there’s literally nothing else to say.
“Or talk about how his kids are doing, who I couldn’t give a shit about really, because I don’t even know them, or him, to be honest.
“I’ve been pretending I haven’t seen him now for almost twenty minutes and it’s getting really annoying; it’s taking up half of my day.
“How long does it take someone to complete a bloody food shop?”
Asked if it might be better to just go past and say a quick hello we were told, “No, not doing that. I know, I’ll go past him quickly and pretend I’m on my phone.”