Google opens new data centre to store thousands of petabytes of terrible smartphone photos of the supermoon

author avatar by 10 months ago

Google has announced a new data centre for its cloud storage services that will be dedicated to the billions of truly awful supermoon photos taken on smartphones last night.

As amateur photographers across the planet sought to capture that one perfect shot of the blue supermoon, despite repeatedly learning that smartphones are terrible at photographing a bright moon in a dark sky, the storage of these photos became an immediate issue.

Technology correspondent Simon Williams, told us, “Every smartphone belonging to any person awake after about 10pm last night has at least 47 supermoon photos of varying levels of awfulness. Ranging from “distant lighthouse in the fog” to “fuzzy spotlight in a smoky room”.

“There isn’t a single good photo taken with a smartphone. Not one. But none of those terrible photos will be deleted from the devices that took them because we won’t get another super blue moon for about fifteen years. So people think these shitty photos that show zero discernible detail of the supermoon, will make a nice “keepsake” of last night’s event – mainly because people are idiots.”

“It’s often said that the modern smartphone is orders of magnitude more powerful than the computers that took the Apollo astronauts to the moon. Well, they might get you there, but holiday snaps will be shit.”

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