Chief indicator designer at Audi realises he’s wasted his life

author avatar by 11 months ago

Simon Wilhelms, head of the indicator design department at Audi, woke in a cold, terrified sweat this morning with the horrid realisation he has wasted his life.

Simon, who has spent decades perfecting the art of integrating smooth design and electronic components into a neat and functional device that tells other road users what a driver intends to do, said the realisation it was all futile came to him in a dream in which he was with absolute clarity the average driver of one of his cars.

“It was horrible,” he wept.

“The subconscious knows things that the waking mind refuses to see, and the terrible knowledge of the sort of person who drives an Audi had been kept from me by a merciful Superego.

“It was only when the truth was revealed in the cold watches of the night through my dream, that I finally understood.

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“Years of training, design, thought, precision engineering – was all for nothing. Nothing. Nobody knows my work even exists.”

Simon rang his counterpart at BMW, Olaf Schnitzelhaus, who he caught in floods of tears as the waste of precious years was also laid bare to him.

“I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time, unless it’s the guy who marks the speed limits on a Ford Focus ST speedometer.”

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