Nadine Dorries quitting parliament ostensibly the same as Nadine Dorries working in parliament

author avatar by 1 month ago

Nadine Dorries has finally quit her role as a member of parliament, leading many to question if anyone will be able to notice.

After failing to speak in parliament for over 400 days, and only voting six times all year, many have pointed out that it will be difficult to tell when she has actually left her role as an MP, given her less than prolific output in the job.

Some observers have questioned whether her lack of attention to national issues in parliament means she has been focussing her energies on local matters for her Mid Bedfordshire constituents.

“It does not,” explained Mid Beds constituent Simon Williams.

“No one has seen her here since the last general election. Her last known constituency office is now a dance studio. It appears she has spent the entire last year on Twitter complaining about how badly Boris Johnson has been treated, and then how badly she has been treated.

“On the plus side, she has been getting paid handsomely, and she’s been paying her daughters very well out of taxpayer funds. I’m sure they’ve been very busy, what with massive amounts of admin related to all the work she’s not doing.”

Meanwhile, officials have announced there will be a minute’s silence held for Nadine in the highly-subsidised parliamentary bar, which is expecting to see far less activity once she no longer qualifies to drink there.