Vladimir Putin’s air miles scheme is seeing unprecedented cancellations this evening after members suddenly realised the poor quality of service.
The scheme, which rewards people close to the Russian president, offers free air travel either through a high window or into the path of a ground to air missile.
Mercenary commander Yevegny Prighozin, who until recently was an enthusiastic member of the scheme, told us, “I should have read the small print that said I might unexpectedly find myself plummeting to earth from a great height surrounded by the burning wreckage of my private jet.
“I feel very silly having just clicked ‘accept’ on the terms and conditions, which warned of sudden termination.
“I thought that referred to the scheme, not myself.”
Members of the Russian Air Force are also understood to be withdrawing from the scheme, mostly by flying to Ukraine and begging for mercy.