by 
Manchester United have announced today that a final decision on whether striker Mason Greenwood will return to the first team squad will be made as soon as their accountants can work out which one will cost them the most money.
With TV presenter Rachel Riley announcing that she would not be able to support the club if the striker returns, further news has now emerged that a decision by the club is imminent, as soon as they work out what’s best for the club… financially.
A spokesperson for the club confirmed, “It’s a tricky one, because you know… he’s worth quite a few million quid.
“Obviously there will be consequences if we do take him back, and quite a few fans will not be happy, and may even stop coming to the games, and buying shirts and stuff.
“So we need to work out how much money that sort of thing will cost us, compared to how much we would lose if we got rid of him, instead.
“And then there’s sponsorship too, because you know, not many companies want to be associated with a… well, you’ve heard the recording.
“But he’s probably our best striker, and worth millions of pounds, and a youth product so extra valuable in financial fair play terms, so it’s a bit of a thinker this one.”
Asked when the decision will actually be made we were told, “God knows.
“I guess as soon as the team of accountants working on this tells us which option is the most financially beneficial.”
