“I’m not book smart, I’m street smart”, insists man who is neither

author avatar by 9 months ago

A man has today announced that he isn’t ‘book smart’, but rather ‘street smart’, despite all available evidence pointing to the fact that he is neither.

Simon Williams, 40, decided to announce to his friends on social media, that just because he doesn’t have a formal education, or even a medium-sized vocabulary, doesn’t mean he isn’t ‘very smart’ in other ways.

However, friends of Williams insisted they are still waiting for him to demonstrate the other ways in which he is ‘smart’.

A friend told us, “He’s entirely correct that he’s not ‘book smart’. I went to school with Simon and I think he still holds the record for most crayons consumed during a maths lesson.  Formal education wasn’t really his ‘thing’, which is fair enough I suppose. It’s not for everyone.

“Unfortunately, in the twenty-odd years since we left school, he’s gone on to prove that surviving on his wits alone isn’t really his ‘thing’ either.

“Claiming to be ‘street smart’ is one thing, but it’s hard to make that case when he’s been the victim of several online and in-person scams this year alone.  I think he might have found himself on some sort of ‘easily duped victim’ list used by fraudsters.

“I obviously have a degree of sympathy for him about things like that, but that sympathy wanes when he goes on like he was raised on the streets and knows what’s ‘really going on’.

“His latest demonstration of ‘street smarts’ is his repeated insistence that Bill Gates wants to track him using microchips in a COVID vaccine, but that he’ll never be a victim of that scam because he’s too smart.

“This coming from a man who only yesterday paid twenty-quid for four dusters from a guy who turned up on his doorstep.”