‘Fake witch hunt’ successfully indicts yet another witch

author avatar by 9 months ago

A fake witch hunt in the United States has successfully indicted yet another witch, after Donald Trump was charged with racketeering and election meddling by the state of Georgia.

“What a witch hunt it has been,” smiled Georgia investigator Simon Williams, hanging another witch hat on his ever-more-crowded wall of hunting trophies.

“Donald Trump is technically right; this was absolutely a witch hunt, but only if you think of ‘witches’ as being real people, who have no magic powers whatsoever except to completely ignore the laws they themselves created.

“They don’t even do any groovy shit like turning people into frogs, just the kind of dull crimes you can perform while illegally conspiring to meddle in elections you have clearly lost.

Those are the witches we’re hunting, and yes, they are pretty boring witches, but we keep on finding them.

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“Well, one witch in particular. It’s actually getting easier and easier to catch them. This particular witch keeps inadvertently admitting to crimes on social media, and then telling us exactly where to find them.

“We indict him, and then throw him back, and before you know it, he’s jumped back onto the line with yet more evidence he’s a witch.

“You’d think he would learn, but alas, he’s clearly a very stupid witch.”

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