Government hails success of ‘Small Boats Week’ if you ignore all the Legionnaires’ Disease and the six asylum seekers who drowned

author avatar by 12 months ago

The government has hailed the success of its ‘Small Boats Week’ campaign, insisting it went exactly as they’d planned, if you ignore all the Legionnaires Disease and the fact that six migrants drowned crossing the channel.

As the government continues its attempts at demonising the vulnerable in order to agitate the electorate’s simple-minded voters, Small Boats Week was supposed to show how migrants are living a life of luxury and taking advantage of the country’s ‘overly-generous’ benefits system.

However, with the Bibby Stockholm evacuated due to an outbreak of a deadly disease associated with dirty water supplies, and a small boat sinking in the channel leading to the deaths of six asylum seekers, many felt the government might step back from its attempts to demonise those arriving by small boat, given it makes them look like the ‘baddies’ of the story.

However, the government is instead doubling down on their claims that small boats are the root of all the country’s ills, and are suggesting you just ignore the inconvenient bits of last week’s news.

Home Office spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “Woke bacteria are responsible for the Bibby Stockholm evacuation, and the migrants who died only did so because they didn’t stay in the first safe country they reached, so actually, small boats week was a TOTAL success.

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“More people know about the small boats than ever before, and if those same people simply ignore the news stories about dangerous bacteria in their accommodation, and the unnecessary deaths we caused by us closing all the legal routes to claim asylum, then I think they will be 100% on our side on this issue.

“Next week, we are going to claim that the small boats are stopping us from looking after our own vulnerable, and hope that no one notices that we’ve done absolutely nothing to help our own vulnerable in the thirteen years we’ve been in charge.”