Deluded man confident he can explain how the record 7.5m NHS waiting list is all the fault of small boats

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Basingstoke resident Simon Williams has been so radicalised by government rhetoric around small boats that he is confident he can blame the record NHS waiting list on asylum seekers arriving by small boat.

Williams, who has never been very bright, and is well known amongst friends for being particularly gullible, now believes that small boats are the biggest crisis facing the country.

When confronted with the fact that NHS waiting lists have risen, yet again, to a new record of 7.5 million people waiting for an operation, he was confident he could link it to the small boats.

He explained, “Anyone who swallows the MSM narrative will no doubt think the NHS waiting lists are growing due to years of chronic underfunding and a government trying to delegitimise the entire concept of a national health service so they can introduce full privatisation by stealth. But only an idiot would believe that.

“I do my own research, so I know the truth. I know that 100,000 asylum seekers have arrived by small boats since 2018, back when the NHS waiting list was only about 4 million.

“And I know that each and every one of those asylum seekers who has arrived by small boat in the last five years is waiting for 35 operations each, and that explains the entire increase.

“I am very clever.”