Bibby Stockholm moored outside Parliament to put an end to the need for MPs’ second homes

author avatar by 2 months ago

Members of Parliament will no longer need the taxpayer to fund their second homes after a change of heart saw the Bibby Stockholm moored up on the Thames to provide a bed for each and every MP that needs one.

The ‘floating hotel’ was originally brought to the UK to help alleviate the cost of housing asylum seekers; however, it was soon discovered that housing MPs in their second homes cost the taxpayer FAR more than housing those trying to claim asylum.

“Four million pounds a year more, in fact,” explained Simon Williams, the government strategist who suggested moving the Bibby Stockholm to its new home facing Big Ben.

“We were in a meeting discussing the new accommodation when someone said that putting asylum seekers in the Bibby could save the taxpayer up to £6m a year – which sounds like a lot, but it’s far less than it costs to give MPs a free second house.

“So that’s when I pointed out that the taxpayer is actually paying £10m a year for MPs to have second homes, all because so many of them don’t actually live in London.

“Everyone looked at me like I was mad, but I repeated that it’s FOUR MILLION pounds a year in extra savings for the taxpayer, AND I’m reducing the commute for every MP to about three minutes.

“I’m expecting to be promoted just as soon as the Home Secretary looks out of the window and sees her new accommodation.”

Grand Theft Tory – the best-selling T-shirt of 2023!