Man would vote for Trump even if his only election pledge were to drown all puppies in sacks

author avatar by 10 months ago

After the former President was indicted for plotting to defraud the American people by overturning his election defeat, many Trump supporters have admitted there is nothing he could do that would stop them voting for him.

With Trump’s popularity amongst his core supporters seemingly unaffected by his lengthening rap sheet, many of his supporters have spoken out in his defence.

Alabama resident, Jethro Williams, told us, “Shiny man on big TV. Me love big TV. Me love shiny man. Shiny man do bad things but he STILL shiny man on TV. Vote Shiny man.”

His slightly more eloquent cousin, Jim-bob, went on, “So what if he committed a few crimes along the way? He did those crimes in support of a thing that I believe, so they are not real crimes. It’s only a real crime if the Democrats do it.

“I will vote for Trump at the next election no matter what. Even if his only election promise is to drown all puppies in a sack in the nearest river. And I love puppies. But I love Trump more.”

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Non-simpleton and US resident Jonathan Smith, told us, “Seventy-five million people voted for Trump in 2020, and I reckon fifty million of them would vote for him at the next election regardless of whether he is in prison a the time, or not.

“Yes, that does say wonderful things about our democracy, thank you.”