The Federal government’s fake witch hunt has successfully indicted yet another witch, after Donald Trump was charged with conspiracy to defraud the United States and obstruction of an official proceeding.
“What a witch hunt it has been,” smiled Federal investigator Simon Williams, hanging another witch hat on his ever-more-crowded wall of hunting trophies.
“Donald Trump is technically right; this was absolutely a witch hunt, but only if you think of ‘witches’ as being real, and as people who have no magic powers whatsoever except to completely ignore the laws they themselves created.
“They don’t even do any groovy shit like turning people into frogs, just the kind of dull crimes you can perform while illegally handling classified materials after you’re no longer in power.
“Those are the witches we’re hunting, and yes, they are pretty boring witches, but we keep finding them.
“Well, one witch in particular. It’s actually getting easier and easier to catch them. This witch keeps inadvertently admitting to crimes on social media, and then telling us exactly where to find them.
“We throw him back, and before you know it, he’s jumped back onto the line with yet more evidence he’s a witch.
“You’d think he would learn, but alas, he’s clearly a very stupid witch.”