Branches of Costa on the verge of becoming entirely arsehole-free

author avatar by 12 months ago

Coffee chain Costa Coffee is on the verge of becoming free from the sort of arsehole that takes advice from Laurence Fox.

Fox called his army of ‘divorced Dad’ followers to boycott Costa because… * checks notes * … they are offering support to the much-maligned trans community.

Non-moron Simon Williams told us, “What we have here is a case of a contrarian moron-herder who seemingly only exists to find new things to be offended by.

“People won’t remember, but he called for a boycott of Costa back in 2021 over something they were doing in Ireland. He’s actually started repeating his calls to cancel businesses because he does it so often, and so desperately badly.

“The fact that he is so proud he got the hashtag to trend is just the chef’s kiss, because clearly he is more interested in being noticed, than in being right. If his recent experience in trying to cancel Grind coffee is anything to go by, I’d be looking to buy shares in Costa as they’re about to have a sales boom.

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“To be clear, he’s boycotting them because of a mural painted on one of their stores. A mural. He is offended by art. That’s what these freedom fighters have become. Honestly, these people are so dumb.”

A Costa spokesperson told us, “No, you don’t have to be trans to buy our coffee, only the poor-informed and those trying to willfully mislead the terminally gullible would believe such a thing. But if you are, you are welcome here, don’t worry.

“Still, London is a city of nine million potential customers, so if the 47,000 of them who voted for Laurence Fox in the London Mayoral election would prefer not to buy coffee in our stores, then I think we could use that as a selling point.

“Imagine being able to buy coffee and guaranteeing that you won’t bump into the sort of twat who goes around insisting Laurence Fox is right about anything?”

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