Hapless GB News Twitter gimp excited to be told what to hate today

author avatar by 12 months ago

One of GB News’ hapless Twitter gimps has told of his excitement at learning what or who his bosses want him to hate on Twitter today.

“It’s always the most exciting part of the day. Right at the start, when we get told who we have to hate today,” explained Simon Williams, a leading GB News Twitter gimp.

“We all go into the office for a morning meeting, and there’s Julia and Darren and Dan all there and we’re allowed Frosties if we want them.

“Then our boss comes out and tells us who we have to hate today. Sometimes it’s not easy to understand him because of his really strong accent, so we get a little handout making it very clear who we are supposed to hate today.”

Mr Williams’ favourite days are when he gets to hate foreigners.

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“I love it when we get to spend the day hating foreigners. You get to really use your imagination about all the weird things they do – I once spent a day saying that Indonesians ate human hair and sticks for breakfast.”

Sadly, for Mr Williams, today he has been told that he has to hate woke bankers.

“I mean, it’s fine. I get to call people woke, which is always fun. But woke bankers? I mean, nobody really believes bankers are woke. Still, I’ll do what Mr Volkov tells me, and hopefully tomorrow, we’ll get foreigners again.”

Mr Williams then got to work.

“Woke bankers, eh? They’re bloody woke, aren’t they?” tweeted Mr Williams, beginning a busy day of tweeting bile and nonsense to the army of simpletons and bots that follow him.

I think, therefore I am (not a GB News viewer)

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