A man whose go-to snack has been a milk chocolate-covered biscuit since he was seven years old, has today been left horrified after learning the snacks he’s been eagerly munching all week are vegan, gluten-free, and packed with phytonutrients.
Simon Williams, 35, has been eating the Bardo high fibre and no added sugar snacks bought by his wife under the impression they were effectively small chunks of empty calory sugary loveliness, but has learned the painful truth today.
He told us, “Oh God. They’re vegan? And gluten-free? But.. but they’re also delicious? How is this possible – everyone knows that vegan, gluten-free food is basically just sawdust and cardboard. Next you’ll be telling me that vegetables can be cooked into tasty, nutritious recipes!”
Simon then went for a walk in the garden to re-evaluate his entire existence, while his wife Emma popped over to tell us, “Simon will still argue until he is blue in the face that a chocolate hobnob is a ‘healthy snack’ because it contains oats; so yes, he’s going to take some time to come to terms with this.
“He’d stuck his hand in the cupboard, pulled out a bag and eaten almost the entire packet of the nutritious bites made from dried fruits, nuts and botanicals before he realised what was going into his mouth. When I told him it was an energy-boosting natural snack, and not a bag of Maltesers, his face dropped.
“The look on his face as he realised that high-fibre and gluten-free snacks can be so incredibly tasty, and also pretty good for you, was like that movie night in our younger days when he suddenly realised Bruce Willis had been dead the whole time.”
Simon then returned from the garden, held up his hand and said, “I don’t want to hear anything else about them. Just shut up and tell me how I can buy some more.”
Bardo snacks are available to buy HERE.