Brands queuing up to be cancelled by Laurence Fox after Grind coffee company doubles sales

author avatar by 12 months ago

Brands across the country have begun queuing up to be cancelled by Laurance Fox after cancellation by the professional deposit-loser has proven to be the most successful marketing campaign of the year.

Grind chose to stop advertising on GB News after it was alerted to the fact that some of it’s bulk media buys were ending up on the divisive news channel.

This was enough for Lozza the moron-herder to call for a boycott of the coffee chain, because if there is one thing that advertisers love when looking for places to advertise, it’s the threat of a public boycott if they ever choose to stop.

However, the move backfired after sales at Grind doubled in the immediate aftermath, leading to dozens of consumer brands asking to be next in line to be cancelled by Lozza.

Business experts have said that Fox might actually have an untapped superpower, with one such analyst telling us, “He has an uncanny knack of getting people to do the exact opposite of whatever he asks of them. It’s not the sort of superpower that would get him into the X-Men, but it’s potentially very useful.

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“When he asks people to vote for him, they do the opposite and he loses his deposit; when he asks them to cancel a business, they do the opposite and double that business’s profits. When he asked Billie Piper to spend the rest of her life with him, she divorced him.

“If you’re having a bad quarter, I’d send out a Tweet explaining that you’re not going to advertise on GB News because it’s full of bigots like Lozza, and then just wait for the inevitable public call for cancellation and for the money to start rolling in!”

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