Dad spends entire weekend on toilet

author avatar by 2 months ago

Simon Williams, a father of four from Chelmsford has emerged tired but euphoric after successfully spending an entire weekend on the toilet.

“I’m just chuffed to bits,” said an emotional Mr Williams.

“And I hope that this proves that whoever you are, you can achieve anything.”

Mr Williams began his epic task on Friday evening after dinner.

“The wife had done a lovely casserole with Vienetta for pudding, and it just seemed like the perfect opportunity.”

Mr Williams immediately went to the toilet, leaving the door unbolted for safety reasons, and sat down.

“The first hour was the worse,” said Mr Williams, wincing slightly at the memory.

“I mean, your legs just go to sleep. Completely. You just can’t feel them. It was tough, and I thought for a while the whole thing would be over before it started, but then I just thought of the kids and how excited they’d be on Monday to tell all their friends at school that their old dad had spent the whole weekend on the toilet.

However, by Sunday, everything was a little easier.

“I think that spending a weekend on the toilet is like an extended period of time in space, after a while your body just adapts, becomes acclimatised. So, by Sunday, everything became a little easier. The Sunday papers passed the time quite nicely.”

Mr Williams finished his magnificent feat at around 9pm on Sunday evening, and his achievement is best summed up by his 4-year-old daughter, Lizzie.

“Daddy was doing plops all day and all night. He’s the best Daddy because no one else’s Daddy does plops all the time like my Daddy.”

Mr Williams is expected to be named in the New Year’s Honours list.