“Chuck it off a ferry” – Rebekah Vardy advises Boris how to deal with his phone troubles

author avatar by 1 year ago

Boris Johnson’s issues with a troublesome set of Whatsapp messages could be all over with a brief ferry trip across the North Sea, according to Rebekah Vardy.

Vardy, who has some expertise in ensuring that potentially damaging Whatsapp messages never see the light of day, insisted that Boris is wasting his time with excuses around passcodes and troublesome technology.

“He should chuck it in the sea,” she told us.

“Accidents happen, as I’ve proven in court, and no one has yet managed to unlock a phone that is at the bottom of the North Sea.

“A return to Amsterdam is about seventy-quid on the ferry. He could have a couple of hours enjoying some of the local culture over there, and then drop his phone off on the way home.

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“If I’ve learned anything from my issues with phones, it’s that if the phone is lost, or can’t be accessed, then everyone will assume the phone contains nothing incriminating, and you can get on with your life with your reputation completely intact.

“Or he could ask a friend to do it for him? I’m pretty sure Nadine Dorries would personally swim it down to the seabed herself if he pretended he could reinstate her damehood.”

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