Everyone excited by new social media platform from which to secure their fleeting dopamine hits

author avatar by 1 year ago

The new social network Threads has been launched to great acclaim by social media users who are addicted to the tiny dopamine hit that occurs whenever someone responds favourably to their content.

Simon Williams, who is present and active on absolutely every possible social network you can think of, told us, “Oh yes. Dopamine. Lovely, lovely dopamine.

“I can think of no better app that could possibly come to market than one where I can get more followers who will briefly validate my existence and give me the momentary dopamine high that trains my brain to look for more of the same.

“Every new like, comment, and follow is like a tiny little happy pill, eagerly swallowed down with an endorphin chaser – and there is no better place to get that fix than in a new social media platform where the growth is rapid and exciting.

“I expect I will absolutely love it on Threads, right up until I hit my natural ceiling of followers and engagement, and then I will start to resent having to post updates on yet another platform, because I won’t be able to stop doing it for fear of losing out entirely on those ever more fleeting dopamine hits.

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“That’s probably not going to happen until sometime on Tuesday.”