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The scientific community has been rocked by the news that a woman has proof that global warming is a hoax in the form of her feeling cold enough to put on a cardigan at the start of July.
“Global warming is a myth,” said free-thinker and truth-teller Simone Williams.
“If the Earth truly was heating up then, surely I wouldn’t have felt a bit chilly yesterday, but I did. Wake up sheeple!”
The scientific community was immediately thrown into turmoil.
“Damn it, she’s got us there,” said a so-called global warming ‘expert’.
“I admit it; we’ve been perpetrating this global warming stuff to try and impress girls. All the science behind it is bogus.
“The polar ice caps are melting only because we left the door to our scientific lab open with the central heating on full-blast.
“The seas are warming because Barry the scientist gets up really early each morning, boils a kettle, and pours the water into the sea just before we take the temperature.
“Flooding in Bangladesh and Thailand is just because someone left the taps on.
“I’ll have to give up my cosy, grant-funded existence as a bogus global warming ‘scientist’ now – does anyone want to buy a lab-coat?”
It is understood that Ms Williams’ next target is the moon landings, claiming that “you can definitely see Stanley Kubrick reflected in Neil Armstrong’s visor.”
