The number of days since the Tory MPs tried to do something which is illegal has been set back to zero it has been revealed today.
With news emerging earlier that the government’s plans to send asylum seekers to Rwanda has been ruled unlawful, the actual number of days where a Tory MP or Prime Minister has NOT done anything illegal has had to be set back to zero. Again.
A spokesperson for the government confirmed, “Damnit, we nearly made a week this time.
“We decided to start a counter to see if we could go a full month, or maybe even a year, without doing anything illegal, or one of us being charged with some crime or another.
“But it has proved far more difficult than expected, unfortunately, what with Boris and Rishi getting up to their tricks, and Suella trying to break the law on an almost daily basis.
“Obviously, it would have been nice to maybe get through to the end of the year without actually breaking the law, what with an election coming up and everything.
“However, we decided instead to keep trying to send asylum seekers to the other side of the world, illegally, and hope that no one would notice.
“So I guess it’s time to start again, and try to keep our noses clean this time. Which we’ll obviously do, right up until the next lot of stuff comes out. It’ll probably be stuff we’ve already done, too.”