“This award proves what can be achieved when you spend months incessantly begging your audience to vote for you”

author avatar by 1 year ago

Nigel Farage was named News presenter of the Year at last night’s Tric awards, and all it took was weeks and weeks of incessant pestering of his audience to vote for him in a public poll that most people didn’t even know existed.

Farage told the audience after accepting his award, “I am proof, if it were ever needed, that if you have a highly-malleable audience willing to vote for absolutely anything, and a not every well-publicised award that is decided by a public vote, then anything is possible.

“You can use your social media channels to ask your followers to vote for you, telling them it will be one in the eye for the establishment; you can use your TV show to ask them to vote for you, telling them the lefty remoaners are trying to deprive you, and you can do this multiple times a week, over several weeks.

“Then, on the night of the awards, you can claim to be the most popular news presenter on a channel that doesn’t even do news. Brilliant, isn’t it!”

Meanwhile, someone who had never heard of the Tric Awards until Farage was claiming they made him the most popular person on television, told us, “Nigel Farage has made a career out of winning votes that normal people didn’t even know were happening.

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“Just look at his stellar record in the European elections. But as soon as people are aware of the vote, like in ALL the general elections he’s ever stood in; then he loses terribly. Sometimes to a man in a dolphin suit.

“But credit where it’s due, he’s very good at getting credulous morons to do his bidding when no one is looking.”

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