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A man is celebrating today after being added to his 100th unnecessary WhatsApp group, from which he will never be able to leave due to his crippling politeness.
Simon Williams, who receives an average of approximately 4,000 messages a day, most of which are nothing to do with him, was added to his latest group earlier after agreeing to go out for a drink with ‘the lads’ to celebrate the birthday of someone he vaguely knows.
Speaking earlier, he told us, “Yeah, looks like I’m in another group. F**king Joy.
“I was added to a new group earlier because I said I’d go out with the lads, so my mate has set up a group to make arrangements for that night, and to have some ‘proper bantz’ before just meeting up in the local.
“It was only after the messages started coming in that I realised it was the 100th unnecessary WhatsApp group that I’m in, a group from which I will never be able to leave, for as long as I live.
“It’s quite an achievement, really, because some of these groups have been going for years, without me sending a single message. Just sitting here, as a group member, being too polite to leave.
“Obviously I have my mates one, then my close mates, then my workmates, then my footy mates, then my gym mates, then my family one, then close family, then my golf holiday group, then Billy’s stag do, and Tony’s birthday.
“And twenty-two different groups set up about weddings, birthdays and Christenings, which are still all ticking over despite having been and gone.
“It’s just great to finally get to a hundred, so I can never actually speak to my family because I’m always catching up on my messages.”
Asked if he could not just leave a few of them, to bring the numbers down, we were told, “It just seems so rude, I just can’t do it.
“Plus, what if I miss a ‘hilarious’ forwarded-on joke?”
