Dominic Toretto ordered to attend speed awareness course

author avatar by 1 year ago

Local driver Dominic Toretto has been ordered to attend a speed awareness course after multiple violations of posted limits over a period of over twenty years, it has emerged.

Matters are understood to have come to a head after Toretto was captured on camera driving off a dam between two exploding oil tankers, whilst also doing 38 miles per hour in a 30 zone.

“When I stopped Mister Toretto and asked him if he knew how fast he had been going, he replied ‘family'”, said Police Constable Simon Williams, who captured the incident on his dashcam.

“I also asked if it was his vehicle – to which he replied ‘family’ – and if he was aware of the dangers to other road users of exceeding the speed limit in a built-up area.”

“He said ‘family’ to that as well.”

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Toretto elected to take the course as getting three points on his licence would risk his insurance premiums, which are ‘high enough already’ after an incident involving driving out of the back of a Hercules transport plane with a big parachute strapped to the top.

After the speed awareness course is complete, Toretto has been advised to take an anger management course as that would do him a power of good as well, frankly.

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