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A commuter is today hoping to impress people on the bus by wearing a white ski mask enhanced with a Sharpie-drawn Apple logo.
Simon Williams, a single accounts clerk from Wokingham, told us, “You might think I look like a twat on the bus, but this is what’s known as peacocking.
“I am making myself look like a high-value individual, the sort of desirable man who would wear a three-grand headset on the bus.
“And yes, last night I went into the loft to find my old skiing goggles, and yes, I tippexed out the brand name and drew on my own Apple logo in the hope that people – well, let’s be honest, single women – will think I’m wearing the new Apple Vision Pro and find me slightly more attractive.”
“Err, no. It’s not working,” explained fellow bus passenger Eleanor Gay.
“He just looks like a loser on the bus. Which, to be honest, is exactly what he looked like yesterday. Only today, he looks like a twat who is also wearing in skiing goggles.
“The only thing that could make him look less attractive is if he was wearing a pair of £3,500 goggles.”
