After a post about the plight of a homeless man went viral on social media because it was directed at Gary Lineker, a relieved government has asked if the Internet’s morons could continue ignoring the people actually in charge of everything.
A Twitter post that has reached over a million people was addressed to Lineker, questioning his support for asylum seekers, when British people are forced to live in makeshift accommodations in the wild – seemingly under the impression that Lineker is in charge of government policy on the homeless.
Conservative Party strategist Gerald Walden-Smythe told us, “We are probably less than a year away from a general election, so yes, people blaming Gary Lineker for our massive failure in looking after the homeless is extremely convenient. Thank you to all the morons out there!
“Yes, asylum seekers are legally entitled to a roof over their heads while we process their claims, thanks to the 1951 UN Refugee Convention, to which we are a signatory. We’re legally obliged to provide that roof. We are not legally obliged to help the homeless. Thank God.
“I mean, yes, we could bring forward legislation tomorrow to enshrine in law the same protections for homeless people as asylum seekers get, but it’s MUCH easier to let the idiots keep blaming people like Gary Lineker.
“We honestly thought no one would be dumb enough to blame television presenters for a problem we could fix tomorrow if we wanted to, but we clearly underestimated the number of credulous simpletons on Twitter.
Non-moron Simon Williams told us, “Sure, let’s blame the presenter of Match of the Day, rather than the literal government of the day. How do these people get through the day?
“I would tell anyone, ALWAYS question the motives of anyone who focuses their energy on trying to make life worse for asylum seekers, rather than better for homeless people.
“Real equality isn’t achieved by making life worse for vulnerable groups until they are all suffering the same. That’s just how the world looks when you view it through the lens of a heartless prick.”