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As Apple Vision Pro prepares for release, the £3,500 price tag has ensured the common perception that people wearing glasses are ‘clever’ is finally over.
With fans of the wearable tech lining up to batter their credit cards in order to be seen in public talking to their spectacles while waving their hands about in front of the face like they’re chasing away mosquitoes, many observers have insisted that glasses might become the new ‘bib’.
Tech reporters Simon Williams told us, “In the same way that a grown adult wearing a bib in public would be assumed to have certain ‘challenges’, the same will ultimately be thought of about Apple Vision Pro wearers.
“They will become used to sympathetic glances from passers-by, as those around them realise they must be incredibly, shockingly, stupid. And at least £3,500 poorer.
“It’s like a massive sign on your face saying ‘I have more money than sense’, or ‘I am too stupid to do sums’.”
Another told us, “I feel a bit sorry for the people buying Apple Vision Pro, to be honest.
“I don’t see how Apple charging simpletons £3,500 for their latest gadget is any different from payday lenders charging simpletons a 1,000% interest rate on their loans – it’s just exploitation of the feeble-minded by another name.”
Apple superfan Shane Matthews is taking part in the product’s trial, and said he’d noticed a definite change in the public’s attitude to him since the price of the device was released.
He told us, “Whereas people were previously wary of me recording them, or would ask exactly what I was doing with it, now they just tilt their heads to the side and say things like ‘you poor baby’, and maybe pat me on my head.
“It’s fine though, I still think I look cool, and I’ll be able to afford one as I quite like eating baked beans for dinner every night.”
