Train strike on FA Cup final day could force Manchester United fans to walk the twenty-odd miles from Surrey to Wembley

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Manchester United fans could face a gruelling fifteen-mile walk to Wembley Stadium after train drivers union Aslef announced strike action on the day of the FA Cup final.

Fans of the Manchester club – no, the other one – have reacted angrily to the news of the strike, insisting one of the many benefits of living in Surrey and supporting Manchester United is the close proximity of Wembley Stadium.

“I just looked it up; it’s just over fifteen miles,” wailed Manchester United fan and Walton-on-Thames resident Simon Williams.

“If I’m to make the kick-off, I’d have to leave the house at about 10 am, I’ll probably have to rush my granola and have little time to read the papers, plus I’ll have to make sure I wear my comfiest trainers for the five-hour stroll to the stadium – which is no way to spend FA Cup final day.

“I don’t think the train drivers realise the misery they will bring to the tens of thousands of us Surrey-based Manchester United fans as we are forced to descend on Wembley by foot. If it rains, I’ll be livid.”

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Neutrals have expressed indecision on who to back in the season’s showcase finale, with many describing it as the football equivalent of Sophie’s choice, if she really hated both of her kids.

Derek Matthews told us, “I love the FA Cup, and some of my earliest memories are of watching that game on TV, with the game played out on a sunny day underneath the twin towers.

“But both Manchester clubs competing in the final is really difficult; either City fans will be gloating that the treble is on, or United fans will be gloating that they prevented City from emulating them. At the end of the day, one set of smug twats is going to be delighted.

“Are we absolutely sure there is no way for them both to lose?”

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