Cornwall absolutely f**king rammed already

author avatar by 12 months ago

Cornwall is f**king rammed already it is revealed today as almost every single person in England heads there for the bank-holiday half-term break.

With families hoping to get away over the bank holiday weekend and into half term next week, Cornwall has recorded a 8564% increase in visitors already compared to its already ridiculously high level of tourists.

Father of three, Simon Williams, who arrived earlier today told us, “F**king rammed already mate, absolute bedlam.

“I’ve only been here for two hours, and already I’ve had enough. This is after a 17-hour car journey just to pissing get here, with an average speed of 8 miles per hour on the A-roads leading in.

“We’ve spent 45 minutes queuing for ice cream, and the rest of the time trying not to bump into people whilst heading down to find a couple of square inches free on the beach.

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“I’m just hoping I can relax later and go for a nice meal in a restaurant with the family and a couple of relaxing drinks.”

Asked if he had booked in anywhere, due to the apparent 3-week wait for a table in a number of the popular eateries, he told us, “Oh for f…”

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