Suella Braverman is at it again.
The alleged Home Secretary was late for a meeting with the similarly alleged Prime Minister, and so saw fit to crack through London at a steady 90mph.
“Then she ploughed straight into the gates,” confirmed Downing Street guard, Simon Williams, dusting himself off after diving out the way.
“Fair play to her, she was straight out of the car and sprinting into the office, not so much as a limp, or to check if I was alright, but I’m used to that from her.”
A spokesperson for Number Ten said, “Mind your feet, there’s glass everywhere.
“Right, where were we? Oh yes. We have thoroughly investigated the matter and have concluded that Suella will face no further action.
“Rishi Sunak made this decision roughly four seconds after hearing a loud BANG outside his window and standing on his tip-toes for a look.
“He’s confident that Suella Braverman has learned her lesson. Again.
“Also, if anyone knows any good repairmen, let him know.”