The political witch-hunt in pursuit of Boris Johnson keeps on finding the same witch, according to the latest reports.
“What a witch hunt it has been,” smiled Labour activist Simon Williams, hanging another witch hat on his ever-more-crowded wall of hunting trophies.
“Boris is technically right; this was absolutely a witch hunt, but only if you think of witches as real, and as people who have no magic powers except to completely ignore the laws they themselves created.
“They don’t even do any groovy shit like turning people into frogs, just the kind of dull crimes you can perform while illegally entertaining friends during lockdown.
“Those are the witches we’re hunting, and yes, they are pretty boring witches, but we keep finding them.
“Well, one witch in particular. It’s actually getting easier and easier to catch them. The witch’s lawyers keep on giving us more and more evidence of him being a witch, and telling us where to find them.
“We throw him back, and before you know it, he’s jumped back onto the line with yet more evidence he’s a witch.
“You’d think he would learn, but alas, he’s clearly a very stupid witch.”