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In a diplomatic manoeuvre as slick as his Brylcreemed hair, UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak unleashed a new form of foreign policy at the G7 summit in Hiroshima, effectively turning international relations into a high school lunchroom drama.
“We’ve simply had enough, girlfriend,” declared Sunak with a wag of his index finger.
“With Russia being, well, a bit of a bully, we’ve decided to use an approach that really hits home – Mean Girls Diplomacy.”
In essence, this new direction in international affairs appears to be lifted straight from the 2004 teen comedy ‘Mean Girls’.
“Russia can’t sit with us,” stated Sunak, channelling his inner Regina George, the popular high school queen bee from the film. “Not until they learn to play nice.”
Russian diamond imports to the UK, along with several other commodities, are effectively on the “do not sit with us” list, as part of a wider sanctions package proposed by Sunak.
While there’s no word on whether pink will be a requirement for Wednesdays, the latest efforts are a firm step toward social exclusion for Russia on the global stage.
Sunak remains hopeful that this schoolyard shaming technique will resonate where formal diplomatic efforts have repeatedly failed, despite just about everyone else believing differently.
“Everyone wants to be part of the in-crowd,” said Sunak. “We hope Russia will realise this and stop trying to throw food at Ukraine.”
Whether this new policy of high school drama diplomacy is effective, or just a sequel to the farcical attempts at sanctions, remains to be seen. In the meantime, world leaders are reportedly brushing up on their ‘Mean Girls’ quotes, ready for the next round of verbal volleys.
Fetch, indeed.
