Harry and Meghan to be the faces of Grand Theft Auto: Paparazzi Edition

author avatar by 11 months ago

Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have sold the rights to their recent ‘near catastrophic’ New York car chase to the makers of Grand Theft Auto (GTA) for their upcoming game: GTA New York Paparazzi Edition.

According to industry insiders, this spin-off will see players navigating the tumultuous streets of NYC, not as hardened criminals, but as high-profile royals, fleeing from a tenacious horde of photo-snapping paparazzi hell-bent on securing a photo they can sell to the Daily Mail.

Rockstar Games, the creators of the GTA series, insist they are excited by the next evolution of the series.

Development director, Simon Williams, told us, “We believe the Sussexes’ high-speed, edge-of-your-seat urban escapades perfectly encapsulate the GTA ethos.

“I mean, who wouldn’t want to dodge photographers and disgruntled New York commuters at moderate speeds in a high-performance SUV?”

Players will be able to adopt the in-game characters of both Harry and Meghan. Harry will have a special “Royal Rage” power-up, and Megan will have the “Media Blitz” skill, temporarily blinding paparazzi with a flash of perfect white teeth.

The game will also feature a new obstacle: the notorious New York garbage truck, a humble machine that will suddenly become an immovable force in the face of royal traffic.

Though some critics argue that this is just another Sussex attempt to monetize their royal status, others argue it’s pure genius.

“It’s brilliant,” remarked one gaming journalist. “Next thing you know, they’ll be selling the rights to their California chicken coop for the next Farming Simulator.”

Williams added, “In a break from convention, the GTA Paparazzi Edition will not contain any prostitution or the mistreatment of any young women, because we failed to agree on a licensing deal with Prince Andrew.”

There is no word yet on whether King Charles is planning a similar deal for a British monarchy edition of Assassin’s Creed, but the gaming world is waiting with bated breath.

Grand Theft Auto: Paparazzi Edition