Vin Diesel given job as Prince Harry’s new driver

author avatar by 11 months ago

Vin Diesel has been given the role as Harry and Meghan’s new driver it has been revealed today. 

With news emerging last night of a ‘near catastrophic’ chase through the streets of New York, further news has now emerged that a new driver for the Prince has now been appointed, in the form of Hollywood hard man, and really fast driver, Vin Diesel. 

A spokesperson the Prince confirmed, “Try to catch us now, you bastards.

“We can confirm that The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have appointed a brand new driver and general head of security, known as Vin Diesel.

“Obviously Mr Diesel comes with a wealth of knowledge and experience in dealing with high-speed car chases, and unwanted attention from pursuers in their own vehicles.

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“He is also hard as f**k so will happily punch any intrusive, dangerous or just generally annoying paparazzi right in the face, if he has to. Or if we ask him to.

“So they better keep their distance.”

Asked if Prince Harry and Meghan are likely to get a sick new car like a Lamborghini or something, in which Vin Diesel will drive them around, we were told, “Well, they have the kids and stuff now, so you know. They’ll probably go for a Skoda Octavia for the boot space.”