Despite a career spent peddling mistruths and outright lies, Nigel Farage has finally proven to be a man of his word after packing up and heading to the airport to leave the UK after the failure of Brexit.
The move has surprised many, who assumed the weasely fabulist would find a way to contort what he previously said to avoid keeping his promise.
At the airport, a rueful Farage told us, “It’s a fair cop. Yes. The evidence is there for all to see; on television, radio and in print, I said multiple times that if Brexit were a failure, I would pack my bags and leave the country. And now that I’ve admitted Brexit is indeed a failure, here I am, leaving.
“Sure, I could have engaged in the ‘no true Scotsman’ fallacy, and pretended that what has happened isn’t a real Brexit – because you all know my supporters would have readily lapped that up given the state of their cognitive dissonance, but that would have been intellectually dishonest, and I’m better than that.
“Yes, I am, shut up.
“Brexit has failed. Clearly. You’d have to be an extreme grifter at this point to pretend otherwise, and a borderline simpleton to believe it.
“So here I am, all packed up with nowhere to go. I’ll just take see what takes my fancy on the departures board and take it from there.
“Nowhere in Europe though, apparently it’s pretty difficult for British citizens to spend any significant amount of time there these days.”
Brexit has failed – get your Brexit-mocking goodies here!