Following an hour of flight cancellations and delays, a sheepish Gatwick Airport has issued a statement confirming that what they initially thought was a drone was, in fact, the maiden flight of the new Ryanair ‘super economy’ series.
In the release, Airport boss Simon Williams wrote, “Yes, we were told to expect some extra Ryanair flights at those times today, but we didn’t take it seriously. I mean, come on. Ryanair. Running to time? That’s less likely than Santa landing here.”
When asked whether the size should have been some kind of giveaway, he responded, “Probably yes. They are a lot smaller than the existing Ryanair planes, but I imagine they’ve found a way to cram a few hundred more people into one though.”
The new Ryanair drones are currently being ‘piloted’ by Chief Executive Michael O’Leary from the roof of his offices using a remote control.
He confirmed, “No pilots means more money saved for our customers. And fewer of the b*stards will be able to strike over our terms and working conditions.
“People know what they are paying for with Ryanair, and these ‘flying vehicles’ will get them to where they’re going up to two Euros cheaper.”
The new ‘Boeing 24-7’ range appears to be nothing more than a couple of hand grips attached to a particularly sturdy-looking drone.
Boeing confirmed, “We only made it for a laugh to make Michael go away. We thought it was a silly present for his family. You can’t seriously think he would take people to 20,000 feet in one of those, do you? They would freeze!”
However, Mr O’Leary was quick to point out his firm had covered this possibility, “Oh yes. Fur coat rentals are an extra 50 Euros. We’re not a bloody charity.”