The Metropolitan Police have this morning been quick to defend the shooting and killing of two dogs in Poplar yesterday.
The incident, which was captured on mobile phone footage, shows a group of police officers tasering a man and shooting dead the two dogs he had with him, prompting a public backlash to the heavy-handed methods employed by the police.
Superintendent Simon Williams spoke to reporters this morning to explain why his officers were justified in their use of lethal force against two animals.
“Well, for a start, those two dogs point blank refused to show my officers their ID when they asked for it,” he began.
“They just made a strange sort of barking noise, so my officers assumed they had taken some kind of illegal substance that made them act deranged, and were forced to act in the interest of their own safety.”
Shrugging, he continued, “After all, there were two of them loitering about looking like they were up to no good, and let’s be honest, they were black, which in our eyes means they must have been dealing drugs or about to steal a car, so we took the only option open to us, which was instantly to shoot them in the head.”
He went on, “I know that the woke Lefties will say that the police dog handler who was literally right there with a restraint could have used that, but what if one of these creatures had pulled a gun on us, hmm? What then?”
He concluded, “Thankfully, the owner was white, so we only tasered him, and then just gave him a light filling in down at the nick.”