Stone Island releases new double-badged jacket for people who want to be twice as hard

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Stone Island has released a new style double-badged jacket, for customers who want to be twice as hard as anyone else. 

The jacket, which will have a Stone Island badge on the left arm, and another on the right, will be available from today for anyone who wants to be proper hard as f**k and kick-off at a football match, or at Northampton services on their way back from the football. 

A spokesperson for Stone Island confirmed, “We will be expanding it to jumpers too, so you can be well hard in a jumper.

“Everyone knows that people who wear Stone Island are well hard, and you better not mess with them, or they will kick your f**king head in.

“But we are now releasing a new line of Stone Island clothing, which makes you even harder than people who have normal Stone Island gear on, because it has TWO badges.

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“So that means you are twice as hard as anyone, even people already wearing a Stoney. 

“Obviously the cost will increase, and we will be looking at about £800 for a jacket, but when you put it on you will know where that money has gone.

“Because you will be f**king nails. Only whilst you are wearing the jacket, that is. Obviously.”