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There is growing concern amongst the electorate that Laurence Fox could seek to punish the nation with his ‘acting’ or ‘music’ again, after narrowly missing out on local election success by just several million of votes.
Fox, who is most famous for being related by birth or former marriage to legitimately successful actors, has focused his political energies through this month’s version of The Brexit Party by campaigning on a range of culture war issues that don’t affect anyone, and increasing the number of shit hand tattoos, but failed to secure enough votes to win any of the hundreds of races it entered.
However, despite over 8,000 council seats being contested, and Reform UK candidates standing in several hundred, all the successful Reform UK candidates could still comfortably fit inside a Ford Fiesta.
“This is a tricky one; it’s a lose-lose situation,” said political commentator Simon Williams, grimly.
“If he had become a genuine political force in the local elections, then we could have seen wider calls for Reform UK policies such as compulsory genital checks for anyone wanting to use a public bathroom, or a ban on the broadcast of Doctor Who episodes that feature Billie Piper.
“But now he’s not going to be a serious political force; we face the more terrifying threat of him returning to ITV dramas or, in the worst-case scenario that everyone is dreading, him releasing more of his so-called music.”
Turning to the camera and addressing it directly, he went on, “Billie, if you’re watching this, please consider taking him back.
“He’s only one humiliating appearance on Question Time away from climbing the London Eye in a Batman costume demanding access to the kids.”
London resident and rational voter Christopher James told us, “I’m glad that Laurence Fox is leading a party that has no political influence whatsoever, and I don’t really care if he goes further off the rails.
“At least if he does end up scaling a landmark in a superhero outfit he’ll be wearing a face covering, for once.”
