As Serbia plans to tighten gun laws after two mass shootings in a week, the US suggests they should give thoughts and prayers a proper try first

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After Serbia suffered two mass shootings in a week, Serbia’s President has pledged to tighten gun control rules in the country, despite insistence from the United States that there is no need to act so hastily.

The two Serbian shootings were committed with legally held firearms and killed sixteen people, injuring dozens more, leading President Aleksandar Vučić to declare a three-day period of mourning and begin steps to tighten the nation’s gun laws.

He told international reporters, “Two mass shootings with legally held guns in just a week? You would have to be intellectually deficient not to start looking at the gun laws and whether we are making it too easy for people to wield these weapons.

“Yes, two mass shootings are enough for us to take these steps. I don’t understand why this is a controversial position to take. Doesn’t everyone take action when things like this happen?

However, NRA spokesperson Billy-bob Williams spoke of his dismay at the news.

Speaking from the steps of the private jet his organisation pays for, he told us, “Two mass shootings is nothing; we do that sort of number every week over here.

“The Serbians haven’t given thoughts and prayers a try first, and everyone knows that after a mass shooting in which children are killed, thoughts and prayers are the most important tool in your armoury. They should be deployed immediately, and they are your first, second and third course of action.

“No one on the planet has more experience than we do with mass shootings that end the lives of school children, and we roll out thoughts and prayers ahead of any meaningful gun reform every single time. That should tell the Serbs something.

“The Serbian President is clearly under the control of the liberal media who simply want everyone to see dead children as a ‘bad thing’.

“He needs to stop being so woke.”