Taliban praises Ron DeSantis for his success in clamping down on women’s rights

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After Florida governor Ron DeSantis signed into law a ban on abortion after 6 weeks, Taliban officials in Afghanistan have welcomed the move and praised the regressive thinking behind it.

Implementing a law that ends an almost fifty-year-old protection for a woman’s liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction has made his part of the United States a much more pleasant land, according Afghanistan’s leadership, who spoke in glowing terms of the US presidential hopeful.

Taliban spokesman, Sayid Faizilliams, told us, “We are delighted to see our brothers in the United States clamping down on the scourge that is ‘women’s rights’.

“Women making decisions about their own bodies will lead to them wanting to make more decisions about other things that affect them personally, and before you know it, women will be thinking they are equal under the law.

“We are relieved to see that our American brother Ronald DeSantis recognises this dangerous risk to our way of life, and that he is personally taking steps to reduce the rights of women under the law. 

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“Sure, he could definitely go a bit further with the whole ‘subjugating women’ thing, but this is an excellent first step, and we look to him enacting further restrictions on the women of Florida in the near future.

“This may take some time, obviously. The caliphate will not be built in a day.  But as you’ve seen, the Taliban is willing to play the long game when it comes to female subjugation.

“In the meantime, the American Taliban have our full support. Should they be looking for ideas on what to do next, then all they need to do is call.”