King Charles to get a Prince Albert ahead of his coronation in honour of his great-great-great-grandfather 

author avatar by 12 months ago

King Charles III is to be adorned with a right royal piercing ahead of the coronation this Saturday, NewsThump can exclusively reveal.

The King was spotted emerging from a tattoo and piercing shop in Windsor over the weekend, raising the eyebrows of a few bystanders, and stunning the owner, Simon Williams.

“Being a specialist at doing Prince Albert piercings, I’ve seen a few pricks in my time,” he told us.

“But normally, they don’t arrive in a chauffeur-driven car and accompanied by Camilla Parker-Bowles.

“I thought it was a wind-up when I got the call, but then an hour later, he walks in, penis already out and being tenderly carried by a loyal footman.”

NewsThump Best sellers

He continued, “His Majesty explained that a Prince Albert would be a fitting tribute to the fact he descended from Queen Victoria, and he has requested that I fit a diamond into each barbell that matches one of the diamonds in his crown that was stolen during Britain’s ‘wonderful and sorely missed’ time of empire.

“We arranged to have it done this Thursday, and then he muttered something about ‘the importance of his family jewels having their own family jewels’ before chuckling and then wandering out of the shop.”

It is understood that Camilla, Queen Consort of the United Kingdom, is also to mark the special occasion on Saturday by sporting a Union Jack vajazzle.